Tag Archives: humour

Expressive lemur strikes a chord

It is a rainy day and we are at the zoo. There is a steady downpour. Our shoes make sloshing sounds in the water, throwing back drops of water on our trousers.

We walk around, looking at each enclosure. Most of the animals seem worn out by the rain. They are seated in their shelters. Some, like the hyena, continue to pace, back and forth, oblivious to the rain and the visitors.

We then move on to a series of inter-connected enclosures that house a few naughty monkeys and some ring-tailed lemurs.

In the first room, a fight seems to have erupted between the monkeys and two lemurs. They tease, chatter and chase each other frantically – up and down the branches.

The other ring tailed lemurs also watch this fight, their bodies braced for action. 

We smile and move on. The second room has a few lemurs, the loners, sitting by themselves.

When we reach the third room, we laugh out aloud, for seated all alone, right in the middle of the room is a lemur. Just look at his expression – 

We just love the look on his face. We wonder what he is trying to express.

Seems like he is saying, “Whatever!” 

This expression strikes a chord.

  • This is the expression I wear when I have not had my morning coffee.
  • This is the expression my children have when I narrate a joke that they find boring.
  • This is the expression when one has just finished a difficult exam.
  • This is the expression after a high-thrill ride you have been on (one that your children have forced you on..and you unknowingly said yes to!)
  • This is also me at the end of a long day.

I can relate to the lemur’s expression at many levels.

Bye little friend.

Moms and lunch boxes

My kids are now at the age where they seem to be hungry all the time and are always asking for food. One meal is barely over before they want to know ‘what and when’ they will eat next. As a mom it is nice to see this phase, but my kids were not always like this.

They were picky eaters and wanted only a certain type of food. My daughter would have milk only from medicine dispensers, strange as it sounds. 

There have been many different food phases in my kids’ lives.

I am reminded of a funny incident that happened many years ago, when my daughter was attending nursery school. I would prepare small sandwiches, mini dosas, mini idlis, vegetable wraps etc, trying to make my daughter’s lunch box as interesting as possible, knowing that she was fussy about what she ate. I would check with her the previous evening about what she wanted  – just to give her a sense of involvement, so that she would eat her food at school.

Picture courtesy – Clipart.com

I derived a lot of satisfaction to see her empty lunch box after school everyday! One day, however, the box came back untouched. I was worried if she was going to fall sick, but she seemed her usual self.

So, I asked her why she hadn’t touched her lunch. And this is what she said….

“Amma, the girl who usually eats my lunch was absent from school today!”

Aha….! That explained it all.

Marathon misunderstanding

One of my friends has a daughter who has just graduated from high school, and who is now enjoying the break before she heads to college later this year.

Days of continuous study have suddenly been replaced by lots of time to spend with friends and family.

A few days ago, my friend’s daughter told her mom that she was planning a ‘Marathon session of Movie watching’ with her friends. Her mom was preoccupied and only heard the marathon part and the friends part.

Picture courtesy – Can Stock Photo

She was very happy that her daughter and friends were going to run long distance. Their conversation went something like this!

Mom: Wow, that’s so cool. So when are you planning to do it?

Daughter: Tomorrow 

Mom: So soon? Are you ready? 

Daughter: Of course, Ma. Need to stock up. 

Mom: Yes, what do you need? 

Daughter: Potato wafers, Nachos and cream, Coke, Fruit Juice and maybe some brownies.

Mom (looking dazed): But doesn’t that take away the whole purpose of your marathon?

Daughter (looking puzzled) : But we are going to be up all night, so we need to charge our batteries Ma.

Mom : I think you should buy isotonic drinks, bananas and other fruits.

Daughter (looks shocked) : Amma, my friends will never ‘ever’ come to our home for a Movie Marathon if I serve what you just suggested.

Mom (with realization dawning) : Movie marathon? I thought you were going to run one.

Both burst out laughing. 

Truly a ‘marathon misunderstanding’!

And then there were none….

It is a lazy afternoon, and I am at the supermarket doing my usual grocery shopping (why do we run out of milk, bread and veggies so often ?) Anyway, here I am walking down one aisle and skipping the next, and then remembering some long forgotten thing, which I had wanted to buy two weeks ago (and obviously still haven’t), and rushing back to the said skipped aisle. And that’s how it goes, pushing the huge shopping cart, and loading it with stuff, nodding at people, exchanging polite smiles with others.

I feel thirsty, and take out my waterbottle from my handbag. I drink too much water, too soon. And then it starts, a sudden hiccup that startles me with its arrival…’EYHICK’…the weird sound comes out in a short, loud burst. I look around. Thankfully there’s no one in my aisle.

Picture courtesy – Clipground

Now I have to plan my next move as I am not sure when hiccup two…’EYHICK’….. oops! Much as I try to control them, the hiccups play truant. Just when I think they have subsided, out comes another EYHICK!

A lady who sees me EYHICK suddenly, smiles knowingly, probably looking at my startled expression. I walk the aisles shopping between EYHICKS that are not rhythmic.

When I finally make it to the cashier, there is a small queue of around six people. I join the line, all the time praying that I shouldn’t have another hiccup. People join behind me too! In just two minutes, another loud EYHICK launches itself on unsuspecting members of the queue. The lady before me stands unruffled. I see a few smiles and a few indifferent stares.

I hiccup two more times before I leave the supermarket. Ten metres outside the supermarket, the hiccups seem to have left me and moved on to another person.

Vanity confusion

Which woman can resist a sale? I cannot, especially if there’s a sale on for bags or perfumes.

A couple of months back, I visited one of those huge malls, where I was merely supposed to go in, pick up a gift and head straight home. If only things were that simple!  My shopping neurons hijacked my thinking. I moved in circles and straight lines, walking in and out of shops.

Just as I was leaving, after nearly ninety minutes of meandering, with my hawk-eyes not having missed a thing, I chanced upon a sale for perfumes. 

Testing the various fragrances and inhaling the smell of coffee beans in turns, I was sweet-talked into buying a newly launched perfume. Not only did the perfume smell divine, it came with so many freebies, all of which I was very happy to receive.

I felt this huge sense of achievement, as I told my conscience that it was a great deal, freebies and all. So, the said freebies were a few bottles of miniature perfumes, shower gel, hand moisturizer, umbrellas, note books and many others.

Cut to yesterday, when I had to attend a concert. I was running late, and because my skin dries up quite fast in air-conditioned environs, I hurriedly opened the freebies packet and stuffed whatever I needed into my handbag.

Midway through the concert, my hands felt dry, so I took out the tube of moisturizer and applied it on my hands. What a heavenly smell wafted. I felt really good.

Picture courtesy – Clipart Panda

After a few minutes, I felt that the skin on my hands was feeling rather stretched and not how it should have  felt after moisturizing.  I let it pass, putting it down to ‘skin needs to adapt to the new product syndrome’.

After the event, when we got home and I went to wash my hands before dinner, a strange thing happened. The moment my hands touched water, frothy bubbles formed on my hands. I was shocked, wondering if I had become allergic to the new cream.

Later that evening, when I cleared my bag, I realized that instead of the moisturizer, I had carried the tube of shower gel with me, which I had then applied generously.

Sigh!

Mystery of the missing scissors!

A few weeks ago, I was looking for a marker pen, a permanent marker. I searched high and low, in all the cupboards where I have sorted stationery by category (read OCD). There were many markers, in various stages of ‘inklessness’. When I tried to write with them, their energy seemed to fizzle out by the time I drew a mere squiggle.

This is undoubtedly one of ‘those’ laws at work. And during this hunt for markers, I only saw scissors. Every room, every pencil holder in our home seemed to be teeming with scissors. Small and big, red and yellow.

Even on my work desk there was a big, cheerful looking scissor that seemed to say, “Hi!”

Image Courtesy – Cliparting.com

My search proved futile and I had to go out to buy a marker.

Cut to yesterday. I was in the kitchen preparing to make pizza. I took out the cheese packet, and looked for a pair of scissors. I usually have two in the kitchen. 

Looked everywhere, couldn’t find them. My work desk scissor was also missing.  Could only find a blunt, old pair of craft scissors.

Where were the rest? Did they hear me whine that there were too many of them? Had they walked out? Were they all hiding somewhere, gloating at my helplessness, and hoping that I would realize how useful they are.

I do. I do. 

As of this morning, they are still missing. Maybe if I go looking for paper clips or something, I will find all of them.

Come back, you guys.

Catching some shut eye

Sleep means different things to different people. There is a lot more to the science of sleep than the oft-discussed night owl vs. morning bird.

When there is an infant in the house, the baby typically cries each time you put him or her down, so you learn to  maintain a rhythm that keeps baby happy, and that also enables you to sleep walk. And the next day, at work, you unconsciouly tap out that rhythm on the carpet.

But before the kids came along there existed a time when you could stay out late, watch movies, and still have a never-ending chat with your friends, and continue to feel rejuvenated; a time when you went straight to work the next day, looking fresh and ready to take on the day, without having slept a wink.

Even before this phase was the time in college, when the concept of sleep was alien. When you studied hard, and had lots of fun.

So, coming back to the kids. Your infant suddenly grew into a busy toddler, whom you chased under tables, and up and down staircases, whom you pushed on swings and caught at the bottom of slides. And then, when your toddler was all tucked into bed, and you looked forward to catching a few winks, the said toddler came crying with pain in his calf muscles or some such.

Then, suddenly, your teenagers and tweenagers had become independent creatures, and disappeared into their coccoons. And you said,  “I can finally catch some shut eye.”

                       Picture courtesy – Clipart Panda
But now, sleep plays truant. You sleep well some days and stay awake on some days. You ponder about life and wonder about what lies ahead. You look at the stars and marvel at the universe, and then worry that the alarm will ring in a few hours.

 And then again, there are those afternoons when you get two hours to yourself (the luxury…), and you make plans to read a book or watch a movie, and as you recline on the couch to enjoy the book or the movie, your eyes close involuntarily. 

Sleep….