Tag Archives: funny

And then there were none….

It is a lazy afternoon, and I am at the supermarket doing my usual grocery shopping (why do we run out of milk, bread and veggies so often ?) Anyway, here I am walking down one aisle and skipping the next, and then remembering some long forgotten thing, which I had wanted to buy two weeks ago (and obviously still haven’t), and rushing back to the said skipped aisle. And that’s how it goes, pushing the huge shopping cart, and loading it with stuff, nodding at people, exchanging polite smiles with others.

I feel thirsty, and take out my waterbottle from my handbag. I drink too much water, too soon. And then it starts, a sudden hiccup that startles me with its arrival…’EYHICK’…the weird sound comes out in a short, loud burst. I look around. Thankfully there’s no one in my aisle.

Picture courtesy – Clipground

Now I have to plan my next move as I am not sure when hiccup two…’EYHICK’….. oops! Much as I try to control them, the hiccups play truant. Just when I think they have subsided, out comes another EYHICK!

A lady who sees me EYHICK suddenly, smiles knowingly, probably looking at my startled expression. I walk the aisles shopping between EYHICKS that are not rhythmic.

When I finally make it to the cashier, there is a small queue of around six people. I join the line, all the time praying that I shouldn’t have another hiccup. People join behind me too! In just two minutes, another loud EYHICK launches itself on unsuspecting members of the queue. The lady before me stands unruffled. I see a few smiles and a few indifferent stares.

I hiccup two more times before I leave the supermarket. Ten metres outside the supermarket, the hiccups seem to have left me and moved on to another person.

When kids say the most unexpected things !

Recently, I was involved in a project, whose focus was on the 3Rs – Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.

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      Courtesy – http://www.pinterest.com

The stall that I manned was for the recycling and repurposing of old CDs. 

Being a movie buff, I had a whole collection of old CDs that I had taken  with me for this recycling project. My teammates and I planned to demonstrate how one could use these old CDs to make candle holders, coasters, wall hangings, and the like.

Due to the limited time available, we could only demonstrate our projects, and could not get people to try them out.

People came in batches to the stall.  While we were busy, a little boy asked me, “Could I have this CD?”

I was happy to see his keen interest and said, “Sorry, this is only a demo piece and I cannot give this to you, but now that you have seen how it is done, you can try it out at home yourself, hmm?”

He replied, “No, not that CD. I would like that CD.”

He pointed to one of my old movie CDs and said, “Can I have that CD (pointing to a children’s animated film).  I haven’t watched that movie yet.”

I smiled. The things kids say….most unexpected too!

This is not me

My son came to me yesterday, asking  for a passport-size photo of his, for his class soft-board.

I took out the pouch, where all our passport size photos are usually kept. I pulled out one and gave it to my son.

Out of idle curiosity, I browsed through the photos, and my face fell. Why do passport photos make me look so ugly?

In each one of those photos, I look consistently bad. The photos are taken too close for comfort and the caricatured features are so prominent.

In some photos, my face seems to have been enlarged and then shrunk into a frame, making it look like my face is spilling out of the photo’s borders.

Since you are not expected to smile for passport photos, and if your smile is your only redeeming feature, then you have a real problem.

From photo to photo, over the years, I seem to have stared into the cameras, blank and listless.

“Are these me?” I ask myself. I look so serious and lifeless. Looking at these photos, people would put me down as outright boring. But maybe this grave look is needed to prove one’s true identity when travelling.

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Courtesy – http://www.shutterstock.com

I close the pouch with a gentle shudder. I am not those photos. I am not.

Do you feel the same way?

What’s in a view? Everything…

One of the best ways to realize the passage of time is when you realize that suddenly, a huge building has popped up right next to your place of work or home, or on one of the roads you frequent.

One day, construction is still on, and the very next, the building is standing tall and proud, its shining facade gleaming in the sun and shimmering with bright lights at night.

That is when you realize that time has truly flown. You begin to forget what used to be in the place where this new building has dropped its roots.

Hmmm, but I am rambling a bit here. This post is neither about the passage of time nor about concrete jungles. 

It is about a new hotel cum mall that has popped-up very close to our home. There’s nothing special about that, you may say. ‘Tis probably happening all around the world!

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Courtesy – http://www.world-wallpaper.com

There is only one small issue that I have with this building. When I step out on my balcony or look out from my bedroom window, my eyes are level with the new hotel’s swanky gym.

I get up in the middle of the night for a drink of water, and there are people working out, on cross trainers and treadmills. I can see their silhouettes, burning hundreds of calories.

Then again, I wake up early sometimes, and look out, and there they are again, working out.

Who are these people, who are so motivated to work out late at night and early in the morning? They look like the people we read about in books, who have a busy life and are productive      24 × 7.

As I type this, I am walking towards my balcony to check. All treadmills are occupied! Wow.

I am glad for the bright light of day, because then I cannot see the inside of the gym, and what I can’t see doesn’t bother me, or make me feel guilty – especially the guilt that stems from all the sweets and savouries I have been wolfing down this Diwali season.

Come to think of it, this could be a great USP if our house were to be sold. House with a gym-view to inspire…round the clock!

The joke’s delayed

Last week, one of my friends had been to Korea on work.

To overcome the language barrier, there were interpreters and translators in every meeting.

My friend told me something, which I found quite funny.

During their meetings, after the initial shaking of hands and good mornings, the Koreans would talk, the interpreter would translate into English, and then my friend would respond in English, then the interpreter would translate it back into Korean. This went on, back and forth till both teams had settled into a rhythm, and were more comfortable with each other.

By the second day, they were comfortable enough to joke with each other; the funny part was the Koreans would say something funny and laugh. The interpreter would translate, and wait for my friend and his team to get the joke. They would then laugh.

Once my friend and his teammates got the joke, both sides laughed with complete understanding.

Language is no barrier. Jokes can be enjoyed with anyone, even if we have to wait a bit!

Contemplation – A short story

Veronica woke up with a mild headache. Her head felt heavy, and she  wanted to hop right back into bed. Sadly, that was not an option.

She worked at a primary school, and taught Grades 1 and 2. The headache only got worse as the day progressed. She popped a couple of tablets before she entered the Grade 2 class.

Twenty, bright-eyed six and seven year olds looked at her, some smiling, some lost and some grinning.

Today’s lesson was on the basic food groups and healthy diets. As she settled the class down, and gave out the worksheets, she heard a sudden snort of laughter. When she looked in the direction that the sound came from, many innocent faces met her eye.

In a few minutes, stifled laughter that could not be contained anymore, erupted. The laughter came from a little imp named Aarav, whose eyes crinkled in mirth. He held his stomach, as his body shook with this sudden laughing bout.

The headache was shaking Veronica’s insides, and with barely concealed irritation she asked Aarav to explain what he found funny.

The little boy pointed to a cartoon on the worksheet, which showed an elephant seated in a restaurant, with a plate before him that contained just one apple slice. A bubble next to the elephant read, “You call this a healthy diet?”

“So what’s so funny in this cartoon?” asked Veronica.

The laughter continued unabated. A few other shoulders shook silently.

Veronica said, “Aarav, I want you to go to the ‘Thinking Corner’ and contemplate your actions.

So Aarav went to the said Corner, and sat in the chair that faced away from the class.

Veronica’s headache got a little better.  The class went on. Veronica watched Aarav. She saw his shoulders shaking from time to time.  After a while, he seemed to have settled down.

She called out to him, “Aarav, you can come back to your seat. Have you thought about what you did?”

Aarav replied, “I did Ms.Rodrigues, but I still find it very funny.”

And the laughter started all over again. The laughter was contagious. Soon the whole class was laughing.

Veronica smiled and joined in. It was just one of those days!

Knocked on the head

This morning, I was cleaning the bath, and the shelves above it that hold  shower gels, soaps and shampoos. While I was at it, the shower curtain rod gave way and fell on my head!

I shouted out, more from the sudden shock rather than from any pain, though there was a little bit of pain.

My son heard me shouting and came running inside.

“What happened mom?” he asked.

When I told him that the curtain rod had hit my head, he looked worried.

Then he said, “Tell me quickly, what is two plus two.”

When I gave the correct answer, he  said, “Phew! You’re ok then. Don’t worry.”