Not so remote problems


The afternoon sun pours into the living room, leaving long streaks of gold on the floor. The flowers in the vase on my coffee table sway gently in the breeze.

Everything seems peaceful, but I am not. I am repeatedly clicking my tongue in exasperation. “Why?” you ask.

I have problems with my remote, remotes rather!

I have an elegant remote-holder next to me, on a side table. It overflows with remotes that help us stay entertained, with movies, soaps and lovely music.

Each device has a remote, and there is a ‘universal remote’, who’s the boss!

All’s well when all these remotes are behaving well. However, it’s not always like this, is it?

So, I have decided to watch a short film that was recommended by a friend.

Despite the latest gadgets surrounding me, I have to now battle with the remotes. Of late, the remotes have become quite rebellious.

The main TV remote has to be directed at the TV screen for a continuous period of 5 seconds, with the power button pressed, for the TV to sense it. It was not always like this. It used to be a good remote. We changed batteries, tried hitting it on the palm of the hand (isn’t that the universal cure for faulty remotes?) and also pleaded with it to work.

But this is the way it behaves now!

Our next remote is the smart remote for the smart TV. All is well here, except that something keeps rattling inside the remote. And ever since the rattling started, the ‘forward/right’ button has stopped working.

Courtesy – Openclipart

The one good thing in all this is that some of the features of these two remotes overlap!

Which means that before I start watching the short film, I have to use the ‘point me for 5 seconds before you see a flicker remote’ to switch on the TV.

I then use ‘the not so smart remote’ to click on youtube. I then navigate with the pointer on the mouse to reach the magnifying lens, which is the symbol for the search function.

If only it would point and click. Instead, the arrow runs wild on the screen, as if playing a game of hide and seek. I click in exasperation, as the pointer disappears from the screen.

I have to do it manually now. The right arrow on the not so smart remote does not work, I use the up, down and left arrows to reach ‘search’. Phew!

At this point, the naughty pointer arrow is back from its break! The system opens up a keyboard for me to type-in my choice.

I move left, up, down with one remote, then switch to the second remote, where 5 seconds are wasted before each letter is selected, then back to the other remote!

And this crazy thing goes on for two to three minutes, and I whoop for joy as the short film finally gets loaded.

“We have to get these serviced,” I mutter to myself, as I become one with the characters and their lives; and at this time, my problems seem remote!!!

Has this happened to you?


1. You are on holiday, and busy taking pictures with your digital camera. You keep getting a flashing message – ‘Not enough memory’. And then the dilemma to decide which of the old photos to delete, especially when you are not sure if you have a back up at home!

2. You call the hotline of a service provider to resolve some problem. You press 0, 1, 3, 2, 5, 6 and then wait while ‘all the customer service assistants are busy’ and after nearly 25 minutes,  just when you hear the annoying music pause and the ‘oh-it’s- happened-at-last’ click of someone connecting, your mobile runs out of charge!

3. You go to the supermarket and come back with your trolley super-loaded with things that you need, and a lot of other things that you don’t and then realize that you’ve forgotten an important thing like dishwashing liquid or toothpaste!

4. Your child dislikes a particular dish and absolutely refuses to eat it at home. When you are invited to dinner at a friend’s place, and the friend has prepared the same dish, and your child wolfs down two portions and you wonder what just happened!

5. You are already running behind schedule. You miss the bus by 1 minute. You cab it and get stuck at every red signal. When you reach your workplace, all lifts are in floors above 15 and moving upwards!

6. You badly need a cup of coffee and think longingly about it as you rush through a chaotic morning. Finally, finally when you sit down to enjoy it, you get a call…and the coffee grows cold.

7. Your kitchen sink has clogged, the TV remote has disappeared, the kettle has stopped working, all of these happen on a single day and you wonder if there’s a conspiracy.

8. You have booked tickets to a much-anticipated movie and you miss the first 15 minutes – as you couldn’t find the house keys, and all along it was in your bag.

9. You had five pairs of lovely scissors till yesterday. This morning, you are not able to find a single pair!

10. You’re on a call and have to write something down. You walk with the cordless to get a paper and pen. You can’t find a plain sheet and use the newspaper. The pen you found runs out of ink after you write two words….

Has any of this happened to you? Would love to hear about them.